awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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