Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
