see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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