so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
