im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my sisters under your porch take her home
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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