turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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