I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize