im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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