Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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