The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
