If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
