is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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