What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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