Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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