i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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