Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
