White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
