Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
