He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
