p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
