He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I touched a dick in church today
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
