Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
