How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
