i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
