Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
