after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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