honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
