How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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