Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
