Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
