The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if only i could text you this smell
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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