You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
