hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
