i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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