he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
