i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize