Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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