"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
