I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
