He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
