So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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