I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
