O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
