ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
