Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
