oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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