i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
