just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
