the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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