Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you win again, gameday.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Terrible idea I love it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
