quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
