Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
