I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
