he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
