Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
