I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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