so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
