If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
