I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
