I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My balls are so social today.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
