just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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