Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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