some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
