How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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