She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
These tits shall not be calmed
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
